Xavari was embarrassed to admit that Xavier and the new baby would only be about eleven months apart in age. Regina was right. Her body hadn’t bounced back from the difficulties of her first birth. She’d gotten her figure back without a problem, but the delivery had left her with a hernia and several months of incontinence. The incontinence she’d overcome with regular exercises, but the hernia flared up every now and then. Her OB/GYN had given her strict instructions to allow her body time to heal before she decided to have another baby, and Xavari had sat right in the examining room and vehemently protested that she would not find herself pregnant again any time soon. Now here she was. Pregnant again. Two times during her 19th year of life. She could kick herself for being so stupid.

“You’re crying for nothing?” Emmanuel was calm. He knew she’d talk in her own time. He just rested his head in her lap and waited.

“I’m just tired and my scalp hurts and…”

“Xavari, how many children do I have?” Emmanuel kept his voice even. Xavari didn’t say anything. She just closed her eyes.

“Xavari, you do know how many times I’ve been around a pregnant woman, right?” Emmanuel spoke as evenly and gently as he could. Xavari still said nothing.

“Baby, you do realize I know you’ve missed two periods, right?” Emmanuel felt Xavari’s body begin to shake. He didn’t hear her crying, but he felt her tears falling onto the top of his head.

“This is not the worst thing that can happen to you, Zee. You act like it’s the end of the world. Why didn’t you want to tell me?” Emmanuel finally lifted his head out of Xavari’s lap and sat beside her. He put his arm around her and leaned her head on his shoulder. She cried silently.

“Talk to me, Zee. I know you had a hard time with Xavier, but I was there for you then, and I’ll be here for you this time. Children are a blessing from God. Don’t you know there are women who’d kill to have a baby, and here you are about to have your second?” Emmanuel felt Xavari’s body stiffen. She raised her head off his shoulder and finally looked him in the face with red, tear-stained eyes.

“You think I should be happy about this? You think I should be thanking God for this?” She didn’t raise her voice, but Emmanuel could hear the anger behind her words.

“I can’t tell you how to feel about this. I’m just trying to put things in perspective for you.” Emmanuel looked down at his hands which were crossed in his lap.

“I have nothing, Emmanuel. I don’t have a decent job, I don’t have a decent place to live and Regina is certain I’m going to drop out of college because I can’t handle having this baby and the one in the other room.” Xavari fought to keep the tears from flowing again.

“Regina doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Why are you letting her fill your head with negativity? I bet she tried to get you to have an abortion, didn’t she?” Emmanuel waited for Xavari to tell him he was wrong, but he’d been around Regina enough to know what she thought and how she thought. It hadn’t taken long to discern the negative spirit that surrounded her. He didn’t exactly dislike Regina, but there was something about her that always rubbed him the wrong way. She was a pessimist about everything, and she was the big sister who became a mother to Xavari when their mother died of breast cancer, so her influence over Xavari was indelible. He was pleasant to Regina for Xavari’s sake, but he didn’t like Regina hanging around too much. Xavari avoided the question all together.

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